The Tyranny of FOMO
Haven’t heard of “FOMO”? Where have you been?! You’re missing out on the latest, greatest, neurotic obsession:
Fear Of Missing Out
Of course FOMO has been around forever, but only recently has it entered the popular imagination as a wordified acronym. I first sighted it in the context of articles about marketing, where FOMO is lauded as a powerful tool to manipulate people into buying and using products or services whether or not such behavior actually serves their best interests.
The Internet, smart phones, and mobile apps have created a world in which the masses are now largely ruled by FOMO. Many cannot bear to wait more than a few seconds to find out why their phone just beeped or vibrated, and the experience of people giving each other their full, undivided attention is becoming a novelty. Technology has made it possible to NOT miss out on experiences that we previously never expected to have, like always knowing every friend’s in-the-moment status. Heaven forbid you should miss out on seeing that photo of your bestie’s steamed asparagus on Instagram!
But while technology has recently turned FOMO into a 24/7 tyrant, there has always been a subtler variety of FOMO that affects any parent on the verge of choosing an alternative parenting path: the fear that their kids will miss out on “normal” life experiences.
An example I commonly encounter is parents who are attracted to homeschooling but afraid their kids will miss out on certain positive experiences that “everyone” (in school) has. Even though they’re aware that homeschooled kids also miss out on plenty of negative, toxic experiences, these parents are worried about depriving their kids of a “normal” childhood or adolescence.
Often the FOMO is projected not by the parents but by grandparents or skeptical friends. For example, parents who choose to have a TV-free home, or only wooden toys, or no meat and animal products, etc., may be criticized for depriving their kids of normality.
And I will admit, as a parent who is committed to parenting without punishments, that I’ve occasionally worried about my kids missing out on some possible long-term benefit of strict discipline. (That worry never lasts more than a few seconds before I reaffirm my commitment to non-coercion, but I digress...)
I’m not saying alternative paths are always better, though. If a more conventional path is what you truly want, go for it. The problem is when FOMO leads to sacrificing your heart’s desires — or your kids’ well-being — in exchange for the false security of staying with the herd.
The truth is that you are always missing out on ALL the possibilities you didn’t choose. So choose wisely — based on your authentic desires, not on fear.
Besides... YOLO!
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