Posted 2016-09-16The Connection Between Trust and Power
In response to last week’s article about how tooth-brushing can descend into coercion, a reader asked...
Do you have any quick tips for repairing trust when you’ve done some serious damage in this area with your child?
To which I replied...
It really depends on the nature of the “serious damage.” Truly serious damage may require professional therapy for healing. Or it might be the kind of damage that heals naturally with a positive apology followed by long-term demonstration of trustworthiness — i.e., consistently choosing partnership strategies instead of giving in to the pressure to use force and other control tactics. It doesn’t require perfection, but you have to be committed enough that you readily recognize when you’ve gone off track and you make amends and course corrections right away.
Yesterday’s groove about power (see below) is also relevant, because being connected with your power is the secret sauce that makes positive apologies and do-overs so effective. You need to let go of any shame you may be feeling about your missteps, because shame separates you from your power, and children don’t trust adults who don’t trust their own power. In other words, forgiving yourself is the first step in any relationship repair process.
The Daily Groove “Classic”
 |
 |
 |