TV, Depression, Anger... Oh my!
Newer subscribers may not realize that I call my daily messages The Daily Groove Classic because I wrote most of those “grooves” up to 10 years ago. Some have been re-posted as many as 10 times, year after year, and some of the original subscribers from 2006 are still reading them every day! I understand why, because I too benefit from regularly reconnecting with the empowering ideas when I re-post them. Subscribers often tell me they get more from each groove the second or third time they receive it.
If you’re on the Classic mailing list, the next groove you receive will be the very first one I wrote on May 10th, 2006, and I think you’ll agree it’s just as relevant today as it was then.
This edition, the once-a-week Daily Groove Revue, is intended to help Classic subscribers reinforce the ideas from the most recent grooves. Those who want less email can get the Revue only, but I recommend at least a year of reading the Classic grooves daily for maximum benefit: cultivating a daily groove requires daily practice. :)
With this Revue I’m trying something new. Every week I receive follow-up questions from subscribers, and I try to answer them all. Here are a few recent answers that I think many of you will find helpful...
Too Much TV?
In this article I wrote, “A true leader serves her followers by staying attuned with them and making sure her leadership supports their hearts’ desires,” which elicited this question:
A: Except in rare cases, I’d say that that much TV-watching doesn’t qualify as a “heart’s desire.” Rather, it’s a consolation prize for losing out on authentic desires like real, heart-felt connection with other human beings and nature, and real adventures that one lives instead of watching passively. We’ve created all kinds of social structures and cultural norms that discourage or prevent children from satisfying those deeper human needs, and then we wonder why they are so attracted to a medium filled with bright, flashy, lovable characters and stories of amazing adventure.
Children know intuitively that they’re supposed to feel vital and be actively, enthusiastically engaged with the living world. When they can’t get enough of that feeling, the substitute stimulation of TV becomes irresistible. But I generally don’t advise parents to block their kids’ TV access. Instead, we need to unblock their access to healthy, attractive alternatives and trust that when those alternatives are easy to choose, most kids will choose them at least as much as TV.
Anger Management
In response to my suggestion that “the M-I-S in ‘misbehavior’ stands for My Interpretation Sucks!”:
A: I suggest you stop trying to control your emotions and focus on choosing your thoughts. In other words, when you realize your interpretation sucks, find a better one. You’ll know it’s better because it makes you feel better. Sometimes what makes it hard to let go of an interpretation is that you are attached to “being right.” So part of the process is getting your ego out of the driver’s seat and tapping into the power of humility. That prepares you to transform your anger into a positive force.
The Word “Depression”
In response to The Gift of Depression, someone on Facebook implied that I shouldn’t use the word depression for non-severe forms of depressed mood. I replied...
The word is used in psychiatry to describe the full range of depressive conditions, from mild to severe. The formal name for severe depression (in the DSM5) is “Major Depressive Disorder”, but unfortunately the word “depression” (without qualifiers) is frequently used as a synonym for Major Depressive Disorder, which is why I went out of my way to qualify my usage. I could have used “melancholy” or “sadness” or “blues”, but I thought it important to reclaim the word “depression” because the other words often convey a sort of dismissiveness — as if to say, “It’s just a bad mood, not a big deal; just ignore it and it’ll pass.” And my whole point is that if you embrace (non-severe) depression, it can serve a valuable purpose and effect real healing, possibly even preventing a descent into severe depression.
Coincidentally, psychiatrist Kelly Brogan expressed some similar ideas in a podcast that was posted the same day.
Being and Becoming
Clara Bellar, a filmmaker and longtime Daily Groove subscriber, has created a fantastic documentary — Being and Becoming — about unschooling (self-directed homeschooling) which has been very well-received in Europe and South America and will be screened across the United States in 2017. To watch the trailer and learn about local screenings, see BeingAndBecomingFilm.com.
The Daily Groove “Classic”
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