Rethinking “misbehavior”
A: The rest of the question doesn’t matter because my answer will always be the same:
You cannot end “misbehavior” nonviolently until you decide there’s no such thing as misbehavior.
Judging behavior to be wrong, bad, naughty, or “unacceptable” leads you down the slippery slope of “acceptable” violence: using coercive tactics to elicit “correct” behavior.
Calling it “misbehavior” is an interpretation that closes your heart. It prevents you from seeing the behavior as an indicator of unmet needs, and it sucks the power out of your partnership.
Improve Your Groove
Today, if you encounter “misbehavior,” tell yourself that mis stands for My Interpretation Sucks!
Then look for a new interpretation based on empathy and understanding — one that leads to more connection and more love.
PS: This applies to adult “misbehavior” too!
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